my Christmas List
by yaoisthegame
Summary: Allen's receiving a mysterious letter.


**Warning: same with others..**

**A/N; my very late Yullen fic...  
**

* * *

He's lying in his stomach on his bed reading some old novel he had borrowed at the public library. Too engrossed at what his book, Allen had failed to notice a white dove that landed on his window sill. A gentle knocking sound from the little bird's beak tapping his glass window broke the teen's imaginary journey. Startled, Allen dragged himself up and threw a puzzled gaze outside. He blinked when the white dove looked directly in his eyes then tapped its beak again, this time a little too hard. As if telling him to move fast and open his window. And the craziest thing happened thus made Allen jaw dropped.

"Did that bird just glared at me?" He thought blinking a few times. Shaking his head, he laughed at his own foolishness. Animals don't glare. May be I'm just seeing things, Allen thought.

Heaving a sigh, the snow haired teen stood up and walked to his window to open and let his 'unexpected visitor' in.

He shivered when the freezing winter air touched his exposed skin. Letting in, the bird flew around his room for a moment then settled on his study table.

The teen's silver orbs looked quizzically to his 'visitor' who tilted its tiny head; its dark round eyes scrutinized Allen in return. A nervous chuckle escaped the teen's lips.

_This little white creature was starting to creped him out_, Allen thought as he strode towards his desk.

Once near enough he noticed a small rolled paper attached to a dark blue ribbon, tied securely on the bird's one leg.

"What is this? Are you here to deliver this message to me?" He queried.

The bird made a chirping sound as a reply.

Thinking it means yes, Allen carefully tugged the ribbon and untied it slowly to avoid hurting the small creature. The moment the white bird was unrestricted; his 'visitor' flapped its wings and flew around his room again then fled out of his window. Pair of silver orbs followed the soaring mob of white until it disappeared.

Closing his window, the teen turned and gawked at the piece of paper laid innocently on his desk. Allen dragged his feet towards his desk and curiously rolled the paper out, curiously read its content.

_**MY CHRISTMAS LISTS**_

_**1. To spend my Christmas with you.**_

Gray eyebrows linked together. Seriously, what was this? Is this a prank? But using a bird to just to delivered such a small note as this would sure took much effort for someone who all wanted was to played prank on him. So, if this was not a prank, then who would make this? Who in the world was the master of that flying creature could be?

Mentally scanning his brain of any possible culprit, the gray haired teen altered his gaze on the window and pouted when he couldn't think of any. Heaving a sigh, Allen leaned his head on the back rest of the chair and shut his eyes tight, picturing a beautiful, stoic long haired Asian boy who Allen was currently in love with. However, for some unknown reason the boy hated him.

"If there is someone I wish to spend my Christmas with? It would be him. Only him." he mumbled. But he knew that would be impossible.

Yet, there's no wrong in dreaming right? He's been head over heels in love with the man since first year in high school. All he wanted was to be with him for a night. Even just for a night. It'll be his Christmas and birthday wish in one. So that was okay, right? Was it too much?

Allen sighed, shook his head, placed the note on his history book and then decides to stop sulking and just continue his reading.

The following day Allen's 'unexpected white visitor' that turned to be a 'flying messenger' came again with another message.

* * *

_**My Christmas list**_

_**2. Lay on my bed with you in my arms.**_

The just smiled and slipped the note to his book.

The next day, Allen found the loyal 'messenger' waiting at him, again. When he read the note, Allen's face instantly flushed beet red that would totally put tomatoes in shame.

* * *

_**My Christmas list**_

**3. Make love to you all night. **

'What the hell?' he thought.

On the fourth day the 'messenger' came, this time with a single white rose. He let the bird in and just like those other days, it flew around his room as if it was its way of greeting and a way of saying goodbye on him. He browsed the note and his one brow rose. Really, whoever was this person be, he/she sure was full of him/herself.

* * *

_**My Christmas list **_

_**4. Hear you say 'I love you'**_

He'd been pondering the true identity of his 'admirer', yet he still couldn't found any possible suspect. The people around him acted normal. No one acted suspicious enough. And it's starting to scare him, yet at the same time it thrilled him. He stared at the bird when an idea hit him. Getting a piece of paper, Allen wrote;

'Who are you?'. Rolled it and attached it to the dark blue ribbon. He carefully grabbed the bird with both hands and carried him to his window.

"Bring my message to your master." he whispered to the bird before he let it go.

It only took minutes for the 'little messenger' to deliver the response note from its master. _That fast, huh?_ He thought. The suspicion that culprit was living near him.

_'Is it Him? He lives just across the street, 3 houses going left.'_ Allen's heart skipped a beat. But then Allen laughed at his own foolishness.

'_That was absolutely crazy._' He thought.

**He** would never do such thing like this and not to Allen nonetheless. For reasons that follows; One, that boy whole heartedly hated Allen. Two, **he** was as straight as a ruler. Three, **his** pride won't let him.

So it's impossible. Him being so in love with the other boy made him delusional and all. Allen felt pang when his heart constricted. Why of all people he fell in love with someone so unattainable.

He already knew that the boy he loves would never ever return his feelings. He knew, yet it still hurts.

Allen's musing was interrupted when the 'messenger's' made a crooning sound and flew to his left shoulder then nuzzled its small head to Allen's cheek as if comforting the young man. Stunned at the flying animal's action, Allen forced a smile.

"Can you feel my heartbreak? Thanks buddy." he said, craning his neck to look at bird. He stretched his right hand to pat its little head when his hand brushed his cheek and feel something wet. Perplexed, the teen's hand shifted its way and touched his cheek instead.

"So that's why you knew, huh?" he asked with a crestfallen smile. He'd been crying without his knowing. Wow, everyday his becoming more pathetic. He wiped dry his tears then grappled the bird cautiously.

"Sorry for taking up your time, buddy." he tugged the ribbon and took its note. "There. You can leave now. Thanks for comforting me." he fingering its head, Allen smiled.

The bird flapped its wings, flew around his room saying its goodbye then soar out of his room.

He eyed the paper in his hand and read it contents.

_**Someone's eager to meet me, I see. You shall worry not, for tomorrow, before the break of dawn I shall step myself into the light and claim what is mine. Thus I shall not spend the Christmas alone.**_

Allen snorted. "Claim what's yours, huh? Who said I'm yours to claim?"

When a feeling of someone was watching him, Allen took a chance to look down. What he saw cease all his movements and the even the time seemed to stop.

Standing on the street with unreadable expression was Yu Kanda, Allen's every fantasy and totally in love with. Covered in a black trench coat, raven securely tied in a bun and with a gray backpack on his bag. Kanda's dark blue eyes stared directly at him that made his breath hitched and his heart almost leaped out of his rib cage. He killed the urged to grasp his chest to check if his heart was still in place.

Kanda continued to stare at him. Indifferent cobalt eyes clashed with trembling gray ones for a moment. Then the raven smirked and mouthed something then smirked and walked.

"Whoa, what was that?"

Were the words escaped from the white headed boy lips as he tried to calm his hammering heart down.

* * *

December 24th. A day before Christmas and Allen's birthday was squandered like usual; surfed the net, answered his friends mail (mostly birthday's and holiday greetings), help his mother with some choirs, trotted back to his room, plopped on his comfy bed and read.

Dull? Nah, he favored his life like this. Not that his an anti-social, no. He was simply not a people person to begin with. He only had four friends and all of them were celebrating their Christmas out of the country. So going out alone will be just a waste of time.

Once again, for four days in a row, Allen was yanked from his musing by the knocking of his 'little visitor'.

"Hey, buddy. Your quite early today, are you not?" He queried and smile.

The dove flew in and done its normal way of greeting the teen and then settled on his desk with its head cocked slightly to the side.

Allen took a seat and fingered the bird's feather. "So what do have for me?"

The dove chirped then turned around. The white haired teen chuckled. He'll surely going to miss this little creature's constant visit after all of this end. The bird entertained him the past days.

"Your master did a great job to you, buddy. Hey, if I'll gonna ask you to him, do you think he will let me have you?" he questioned.

The dove just tilted its head and blinked at him. Allen chuckled at the bird's confused expression. Shaking his head, he tugged the ribbon and read the message written on it. The bird then says its goodbye and flew out.

_**Meet me now at the public library... **_

'_As in now?'_ Clicking his tongue he pushed himself up and grabbed his coat.

"Mom, I'm going out for a while." he called out.

A woman with a haired matched his own popped out from the kitchen. "Don't stay long outside."

"Okay, mom!" he replied then sped out.

He was a nervous, yes. But he was also excited in meeting his 'admirer'. He still doesn't know what to do or what he'll going to say the moment he meet the person behind those notes. All he knew was that he appreciated this person's perseverance and remarkable way of confessing to him. It thrilled Allen and made his prior days not so dull.

Upon arriving at the given place, Allen saw no one but the 'little messenger' resting on the bench. Under its tiny little feet was a book... Allen's latest release favorite book. And with a note, again. The sighed and skimmed his silver eyes over the note.

_**I change my mind. Meet me at the pay phone booth right at the corner. **_

The book was my advance birthday gift for you.

He heaved a weary and proceeds to his next destination... Pay phone.

This time, the bird ascended to his left shoulder. Silver brows slowly furrowed when he found no one on the booth. Seriously, this whole situation was surely starting to irk him.

'_I guess coming here was fruitless after all. Now I'm starting to regret it'. _He thought.

The phone began to went off, startling the white headed teen and almost made him jump and shriek. Looking around, scanning the area only to saw no one. He reckoned to answer the shouting pay machine.

"Hello?" he started.

"Allen," said a baritone voice on the line. "Again, I change my mind. Meet me at the park, on the area you used to stay."

"W-wait. Who are you?" he asked in a voice a little frantic.

A bolt of electricity went up Allen's spine and made him shivered when the other man chuckled. "Don't rush, Allen. We'll reach to that. Now just please be there. I'll be waiting."

The call was cut by a busy tone.

Was this man's for real? Wow. What was he thinking... But wait... What am I thinking? What if this man was an psychopath serial killer? Whoa... He thought.

_Okay, let's say he's a criminal and long for my life to end. But why at the public park? When he knew for sure that he can be easily get caught in doing such thing. Why did he fabricated tiring tasked of confessing to me if he only desired to take my life?... _Sighing, Allen shook his head. I just want this day to end. He thought and then started to head towards the park.

The teen's heart began to beat erratically from a combine feeling of nervousness, anticipation, and ardent determination. And knowing that his admirer was in fact a male, made the teen more anxious. Now, he began to sweat.

Arriving at park, Allen made his way to his favorite place. In the east part of the park, found a lone bench, under the hovering oak trees. It was the most peaceful part of the park, the reason why the teen loves the area.

"I'm glad you came, Allen." stated a baritone voice of his back.

Allen's whole body tensed. He knew that voice well. It was the voice the he had longed for to call him by his own name and not some foreign insulting pet name. Clutching tightly the book in his hand, the teen stiffly turned to face the other. Wishing that his ears were not only playing tricks on him.

"Y-you... What are doing here?" he stuttered. Silver eyes widen in shocked. _'This is impossible...'_ His heart began to pound hard in his chest.

Across from him, only a few feet away, leaning on confidently on the tree with a thin smile, was Yu Kanda. Seeing the raven, the bird (which Allen plainly had forgotten) fled to the other boy and deposited itself on Kanda's outstretched finger.

"Good job, mugen. Now, can you make yourself scarce for a while? I just needed time to settle some 'things' with the moyashi." he explained to the bird as if talking to a child. The chirped then flew its way to one of the unclad trees; leaving him and Kanda alone. ALL ALONE.

When Kanda's cobalt orbs affixed to him, Allen's brain in frenzy, his stomach began to vigorously flip, and his heart... His heart was throbbing...hard.

When Kanda took a step forward, Allen's grip on the book had tightened and his body went rigid.

"Twas spring the previous year when I first found this place." The raven started. "It's quiet, calm, peaceful...an ideal place for meditation. One day, while I was sitting on the branch of that tree," Pointing the oak tree at his back with his thumb. ", meditating. A giggle disturbed my solitude and tranquil state. Taking a change to peek through the copious amount of leaves I, that time, perfectly hid myself, to discerned who was this brainless felon that's brave enough to disturb my meditation." Stopping an inches away from the albino haired teen. "However, what I saw had forever mystified me." Kanda mumbled, piercing cobalt never leaving Allen.

"A snow color haired boy with a twinkling pair of silver eyes to match and a fair smooth skin to die for; was reading a book, which I soon found out to be his favorite. He looked so docile, so complacent, so distant to the world... and so mystifyingly beautiful..." Kanda ended, one hand trying to caress the other teen's cheek. But Allen shifted his face to the side to dodge the blue eyed teen's touch.

"Why are you doing this?" Allen mustered courage to ask despite the loud drumming of his heart. What the raven confessed had astounded him completely. It was a dream came true. But…

"Why? You said you hated me. Are you doing this for fun? Do you find it pleasurable toying with my feelings? Was it entertaining, Kanda?" he asked bitterly. He stared at Kanda, gray irises full of contempt.

Taken aback, Kanda's slanted eyes widen."M-moyashi." Kanda softly uttered.

Allen knew what he said was wrong. He should have been ecstatic because the man he was secretly in with love for so long had loved him in return. Yet, it's not enough. He still had doubts. What if, what Kanda had done and said were all a sham just to play a wicked trick on him? To hurt and ensure immeasurable damage in him? Yes, he had yearned and craved for Kanda's affection for so long. He had loved the raven... But, he was not that desperate. He'll never allow himself to wallow into some deceitful love confession and false affection. No. He'll never let it happen. Because it would surely shatter Allen's frail heart and it would sure forever leave a hole in his core.

"I don't remember ever telling you that I hate you, moyashi." Kanda retorted firmly. Averting his gaze to the snow covered pave. Black fringe hiding his eyes, he continue. "And toying someone's heart is never my game."

Allen's head whirled around. "Y-you don't?" he asked uncertainly.

"I had tried to approach you in school or every time I saw you stepping out of your gate, Allen, but I don't know how. Even as simple as calling your name was hard enough for me. I was never good with words, Allen. And socializing was never been my forte. So eventually, in my constant attempt to converse with you, I always end up tossing insult and snap at you instead. Those are the things I usually do best. I had tried smiling but it always turned out into a smirked. Then one day, you started avoiding me. I don't know why, so I just presumed that you had already notice my feelings and avoiding me was your way of rejecting me. A conveying message that you don't sway that way." Kanda admitted albeit a little embarrassed. Eyes still fixed on the ground.

"Then some things happened that lift my hopes again. I started to notice you staring at me from a far and blushed every time I caught you staring. So I did this...not to play with your emotions but to concede my feelings. And that hoping that maybe you like me too." Kanda ended , nonchalantly lifted his head and twisting it to the side; still avoiding Allen's prying gaze, trying to masked his nervousness through his stoic demeanor.

Allen was stunned. Thoroughly, absolutely astonished at the raven's boy long confession.

What to do?

What to say?

He couldn't think straight and his brain was still in chaos. Those jumbled emotions inside him had made him in dazed. And if there's one thing Allen has been ascertained to, was the feeling of happiness. He's totally elated that he swore he saw his surrounding burst into million different colors.

Then he did what he thought was the easiest and right thing to do at this moment; hug the raven tight and to cry to his ample chest.

Kanda instantly tensed up but then reluctantly wrapped his arms to the white haired teen waist and hug him back with the same fervor.

"Did this means..." Kanda smiled when Allen gently nodded and tightened his arms around him even more.

* * *

**December 25**, 2 am. Allen ambled to his room and was surprise when he found a different dove banging its beak on his window. Its head and tail's feather was black and its middle portion was gray. A red ribbon with the note, attached to the dove's leg. He tugged it off and read its content.

**_The new messenger's name is Timcanpy (some womanizer idiot named her) and, yeah, its a girl. And its yours to have. _**

**_Mugen says take care of her because she was 'mugen's' mate._**

**_Merry Christmas and happy birthday, Allen._**

**_P.S. _**

**_I'll gotta pick you up later at 6 pm sharp. You don't forget about my Christmas list, did you?_**

**_Love, Yu _**

Allen can't help but smile.

* * *

-end

**-emagehtsioay**


End file.
